Consciously consuming clothing

To those who know me, they know I have a love for clothing, style and sewing. In my free time I enjoy thrifting, watching sewing youtubers, learning about recent and historical fashion trends, and going through piles of fabric, dreaming of what I could create.

There are so many ways now to create a style, and getting guidance on how. Find your color season using Pinterest. Get a Kibbe consultation. Read these seven paragraphs to determine your style essence. I love learning about all these ways of curating a “look” that is meant to be perfect for my specific appearance. But lately I’ve been thinking differently about clothing.

Today, trends change in a week. Some items, that are beautiful, unique or quirky, are only worn once by a person for fear of repeating an outfit. Investing in quality pieces may be the method of some, but for younger individuals, it is not the norm. For people who love style trends, they quickly go online and pick up the latest fashion piece, which they may be obsessed with for a while, but will likely be “over” or revamped by the next year. Clothing is treated as replaceable. Largely temporary. Especially in fast fashion.

Over the last few years, I’ve noticed how my relationship with clothes has changed. I’ve always been a lover of unique pieces, but whereas before I might go thrifting once a month and pick up a piece or two I’d keep for years, now I was buying thrifted and new clothes regularly, tracking store sales and buying items that were unique, but then wearing them infrequently until my next new shipment.

I know these habits directly correlate with the lifestyle I’ve adapted since the pandemic. I’ve been debating for a while how I can change these habits. My initial thought? Give up buying any new clothing for a year. Extreme? Yes. Realistic? For me… not yet.

Thus, I have challenged myself not to buy any new clothing for one whole month. Officially for me, the challenge began June 13. But then I thought of another component.

What if I limited what clothes I had access to also for a month? Say – to 30 items.

Essentially, a summer capsule wardrobe. This idea both thrilled and excited me. And after initial hesitation, last night I separated twenty-four items out of my closet and onto a bureau in my bedroom, limiting myself to them.

Now, some of you may have just read “twenty-four items” and be confused. There is a reason I only picked twenty-four out of thirty items from my wardrobe. I actually did not know what else I wanted to add. Thus I decided I’d give myself “wiggle room” with six additional pieces that I could add from my closet throughout the month if I needed a special item. For instance – I already know I will need a bathing suit at some point, but chose to wait until I leave on my beach trip to make my final selection.

Of course I have some exceptions. Clothing items for working out are not included, nor are pajamas. I also decided that anything I sew within the month can be added to the capsule wardrobe and not count towards my thirty piece total. Wearing a pre-sewn item to church is allowed, and I have unlimited access to accessories and shoes.

I made these exceptions for several reasons. The first being I sometimes get very dirty working out, especially if its on my family’s farm, and don’t have time to do laundry every day. Thus, if a clothing item is being worn just to exercise in, it does not count as a regular clothing item. I also have fallen off my sewing streak. In order to encourage myself to sew more, I am giving myself the ability to sew items for my wardrobe.

I must confess, I have already finished a sewing a pair of shorts this morning, so I do believe it is working.

The curious thing about this challenge? I’m already beginning to see how there is clothing I own that I’m not event interested in wearing. Hopefully by the end of this experiment I can not only downsize my closet further but also be more conscientious about my closet habits, sew more and be less dependent on the trend cycle.

The Best of 25 (+1 goal)

Some years it feels like life moves at a snail’s pace. The routine and familiarity of everything makes it appear as if nothing changes. However, oftentimes, this is not true at all, and it is simply an illusion – or perhaps a reflection of having a mindset of no change.  

At the Hoover Dam in Nevada and Arizona.

For myself, I know that within the last year more changed in my life then I could have ever anticipated. Oftentimes during these periods of major change, it can feel like you lived multiple different experiences, and as if each period of time was longer than it truly was. I could speak broadly of the lessons I learned and the differences between then and now, but instead I want to share the 25 things that I learned from, valued or enjoyed the most in the past year, plus one goal to make 26, since that is my current age.

Books

I was an avid reader as a child and am slowly making my way back to reading nonstop! I am happy to say, I read several books that had a strong positive impact on me during this time.

1. You Are A Badass By: Jen Sincero – A book I picked up on a whim because my friend said it mentioned line dancing, haha! Great for anyone looking for insight into accomplishing goals or a mental refresh. I recommend it to everyone.

2. The Defining Decade – This book holds a lot of facts, the most striking of which for me was that 80% of life’s biggest decisions are generally made between the ages of 20 to 35. It helped me put life in perspective, and made me contemplate the decisions I’ve made.

3. The Bridgerton Book Series – Starkly different then the other books on this list, this series is comprised of eight romance novels. I am halfway through, and am surprised to have found that I love them. Could be the regency era, or the joy of reading “happily ever afters.”

Music

Music has always been one of my favorite things. Whether it is listening to songs on my phone or singing in the car. In the past I never indulged in much country music, but I found myself listening to some on repeat!

4. I like it, I love it By Tim McGraw – There was a solid month where I listened to only this song on repeat.

5. Come on Over Album by Shania Twain – I’m a big fan of CDs for car rides. This one was my favorite.

6. Turn to Stone by ELO – Typically, I am a big classic rock fan. This song my boyfriend sent me, and I could not stop listening to.

Visual Media

7. Encanto by Disney – Not only was the music and visuals lovely, but the family dynamic is so sweet. A film I highly enjoyed.

8. Emma Movie, 2020 – while this film came out a few years ago, I first saw it after purchasing it on DVD and loved it! The story is sweet and humorous. The clothing – impeccable!

9. Bridgerton Netflix Series – Prior to reading the books, I watched the first season of Bridgeton, and was hooked! For the characters, plot and the styling.

10. Only Murders in the Building, Hulu Series – My sister and I binge watched this series in a weekend together. This show was intriguing, kept you guessing and, despite being about murder, rather sweet.

11. The Closet Historian, YouTube Chanel – While not a traditional form of media, Youtube is my primary source of entertainment. I binge watched many videos on this channel learning about clothing construction, and hearing about how someone else plans their wardrobe or picks their style. I continue to enjoy these videos.  

Home-cooked Food

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized more of the importance of not only cooking my own food but also cooking or baking to give to others. While I’ve indulged in many of these food items, I was also lucky to be able to share and give to others as well.

12. Yankee Pot Roast – Here.

13. Fried Chicken

14. Strawberry Cupcakes with Chocolate Icing

15. Chocolate Chip Cookies

Adventure

Night time in Savannah, Georgia.

I have always been a supporter of travel, to get a clear head and to learn and experience new places. I was fortunate to take several trips last year, however three stand out in my mind.

16. Savannah Bachelorette trip – The people here were so inviting. It was a joy to celebrate my friend, relax and go dancing!

17. Traveling to Vegas – A trip to visit a friend who moved out to Nevada, that grew into experiencing a whole bunch of new activities, including hiking in the dessert.

18. St. Augustine, Florida – While visiting my sister in Florida, we took a day trip to this island. Beautiful, a cute town setting and history at your finger tips.

Creativity Blooms

In the last year, a lot of my focus transferred from not only consuming but creating, doing, and experiencing.

19. 6-Week Floral Arranging Class – I have always loved flowers, and learning to arrange them was a fun and wonderful experience.

20. Sewing at least one item a month challenge – Including Milk & Cookie PJs!

21. Getting a facial – A self indulgent activity, my skin needed a professional set of eyes. Now it’s something I maintain on my own to feel good on a daily basis.

22. Went Line Dancing – I met a lot of new people through this experience, and got to enjoy some fun music and looking like a fool learning something new.

23. My Grandfather’s Weightlifting Reunion – A surprise party my father pulled together for my grandfather. The significance being that my Grandfather would pass away approximately one month later.

24. Learning to Drive a Kubota – My father bought a Kubota for the farm to drive in the fields. And it is fun!

25. Speaking for myself – In the last year, there were multiple scenarios where I spoke up for myself and told people exactly what I think. While it was scary the first time, I could not be happier now, and find that when I am honest, I never feel regret for what is said.

Lastly…

26. I don’t think near as much can change in this year as last (although I could be very wrong). My desire for the next year is to give back to my family and community. Donate when able, whether that is time, money or resources. So often my goals focus on improving myself. I want to give back more.

Sunset on the farm.

Lessons of the “quarter life crisis”

I find it interesting that so many people in their mid-twenties, especially when they turn 25, like to say they are experiencing a quarter life crisis. Specifically on Instagram, as they pose in fancy outfits, smiling and dancing, or with a birthday cake. Maybe they are eluding to an unknown strife, but the photos do not reflect a crisis.

Last year when I turned 25, I was extremely happy, with no plans to have a crisis. However, in the last year many things changed unexpectedly. I ended a relationship, had both my grandfathers’ die and lose a friendship that I thought would be life-long. In that same time, I found a new job, traveled, repaired friendships and met someone who makes me happier than I could have ever anticipated.

I do not believe I had a quarter life crisis, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. Either way I can assure you I did not publicize the possibility on social media. The phrase is used more as a catchy caption then a reflection of a person’s inner conflicts.

Looking back on the past year from Nevada.

Now that I’m nearing my birthday, I can’t help but reflect on all the changes I experienced. I have found happiness in new, unexpected ways. During this year I also learned a lot in a very short period of time. When I recall my life from a year ago, I feel like I was a different person, unsure of what I was doing, stressed, trying to manage and in a way, happy. Here are some of the lessons I learned.

1. If a relationship is constantly causing stress or anxiety – take time to separate from it.
   
   One of the biggest realizations I had was that in relationships, you have to take care of yourself. So often I develop relationships, mostly friendships, where I end up doing most of the consoling, initiating and listening. As a result, I stress about the person, wondering if they even care for me when I am giving them all the support I can muster. While occasionally a person might need extra support, to have this pressure on yourself constantly makes it a toxic relationship. One of the milestones I had this year was that I stopped initiating with a person whom I’ve had multiple people tell me did not treat me right. And I haven’t missed them a bit since they’ve been gone from my life.
2. Offer forgiveness.
   
   Connected to the above lesson, I did cut off one friend who I then ran into several months later. She was having severe health issues. While talking with her, I realized putting my grievances behind me was important to offer her support during that time. Now, we are closer than ever, and I have had candid conversations with her about our past. She has been able to not only share her side, but recognize the pain she had caused me and apologize.
3. Tell people your goals.
   
   Especially career ones. I have had the great fortune of friends and family sending me job opportunities in the exact moments after I tell them I am looking for a new endeavor. Often, I have been blessed to receive a job offer. I thoroughly believe telling people your goals and aspirations can help you achieve them. Whether they send you opportunities, offer verbal support or hold you accountable by just checking in, it is good to talk about one’s dreams.

A goal is a dream with a deadline

Napoleon Hill, author

4. Keep your obligations.

They surprisingly might be the solution you weren’t expecting. During 2021, and the beginning of 2022, I gave myself obligations that I secretly prayed I would get told I no longer needed to keep. It ranged from job commitments, to travel, to celebrations. I believed I was too tired or sad to participate in these activities, and that they would make me feel worse. I was wrong. On more than one occasion, these obligations brought me unexpected joy and peace. The very things I was searching for while trying to avoid them. I had forgotten that obligations can create growth and offer a new perspective. While I am sure that I will grumble about future ones, I continue to make these commitments, knowing there are hidden benefits I will discover.

5. Say what you are feeling.

The biggest lesson I learned in 2021, was to tell people what you are feeling and not to hide your emotions. I used to have so much stress pent up inside of me, afraid of people finding out anything from me liking them, to me thinking they’re boyfriend is manipulative to me deliberating cutting someone out of my life because of how I felt they have treated me. Sharing what you are feeling is one of the best ways to process the emotion. Otherwise you are in a limbo waiting for something to happen that might never occur. The best baby step to work on sharing? Journaling.

6. The final lesson I want to share – give yourself grace.

As someone who overthinks and will re-live pain and moments involuntarily, my good friend reminded me that I need to give myself grace. I am more than willing to listen and have empathy for other people, but then hold myself to a higher, unrealistic, standard. Giving yourself grace means remembering you are human – not perfect- and that everyone makes mistakes or feels inadequate at times. It doesn’t mean you are any less wonderful because of it. We all get these opportunities to learns and grow. If we didn’t, life would be mundane. We would never change.

View from the Hoover Dam in Arizona/Nevada. “Bridging into the future.”

Having a “Hot Girl Summer” or whatever that means

Every once in a while a phrase will catch on and be the “it” thing everyone is craving to have, achieve, or celebrate. “YOLO,” “dad bod” and “bae” are just some of the phrases that have infiltrated our vernacular from the internet or pop culture.

This summer it seems like every one wants a “hot girl summer.” While I instinctively think of 90 degree weather, sweat, being outdoors and tank tops, I know that’s not what this phrase is referencing. While I only just learned of the phrase this year, Urban dictionary has definitions of a “hot girl summer” from 2019. While some reference Megan Thee Stallion as the creator of the term, my personal favorite definition says in part that it is “a term used to define girls being unapologetically themselves, having fun, loving yourself, and doing YOU.” Some other definitions reference increased promiscuity as a defining characteristic of this phrase, but at its core it is not.

Me, Sarah, having a “hot girl summer,” 2020.

As a “girl” who is now 25 years old, hearing the term “hot girl summer” and trying to apply it to myself feels almost like a joke. I am young but the idea of unlimited freedom tied to this term is something I could not imagine. The responsibilities that come with having a full time job, financial obligations, managing family and friends as well as figuring out what I actually would like to do in life make summer another season of sorting everything out.

That being said, a critical part of life is living in the present and feeling the joy that comes with that. And often I feel that people get tied up in the tiny details of life that contribute little to no joy – social media, that bad memory from two years ago, the things we cannot control.

So in an effort to live #mybestlife (wow so quirky, not cringe XD ) I’m trying to come up with a more mature phrase that fits my 25-year old needs. “Hot lady season” is fairly close to the original but lacks some of the freedom that comes with being a girl. The adjective “boss” has also become more popular over the years but feels too powerful for the vibe I’m going for – although there is nothing wrong with being powerful.

I feel like at its essence hot girl summer encourages individuals to be whatever they want to be. And for me that means being a woman – responsible, hardworking, respected and compassionate – not childish. While being hot is always a plus, being stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, courageous, intelligent or bold are all adjectives I would rather hear someone whisper about me. And although summer will always be linked to the idea of freedom from responsibility, I want to embody this energy in all parts of my life, not just for a season, hour or year.

Perhaps over-analyzing a cute phrase like “hot girl summer” makes it lose its zest. But as someone who actively wants to keep growing and fine-tuning what it is I want in life, I can’t help but mull over these nuances. Do I even want a “hot girl summer?” Or do I want to be a “boss-lady?” Do I want a “kick you in the rear decade?” Or a “manic-pixie summer?”

I can’t really say for sure if there even is a saying that could embody all the goals and dreams I have for myself. But if I were to summarize it, I think the best I could do is this: financially responsible, loving relationships, a sense of adventure and happiness all around.

The lessons I’ve learned

If I could think back on where I was a year ago, and see myself where I am today, I never would have predicted how happy and content I am, nor believed that so many good things could happen when it feels like everyone is telling you the world is falling apart.

Below is a list of the major personal take aways I’ve had from my “year” – March 2020 into 2021.

1. Have faith things will work out
   • If 2021 has done anything, it has made me believe things really do happen for a reason. The COVID-19 pandemic was completely unexpected, and the first several months of it I was paranoid and anxious. However, looking back, I can see that the pandemic enabled me to move out of a toxic living situation with my landlord, reunite with my family, move to an area I love and be closer to friends. I am 1000xs happier then I was at the beginning of 2020, even before the pandemic. It has enabled me to increase my savings, become more involved in my community and develop new relationships. None of this would have been possible had my entire life not been thrown upside down.
2. Learn the difference between what you can control vs. cannot control
   • For the longest time my anxiety related to the pandemic directly correlated with trying to control everything in my power to not get COVID-19. Despite this, I still got COVID. I remember I left my house once in a two week time period to pick up food, followed all the social distancing guidelines, and I still got sick. My case was fortunately very mild, and no one I lived with got it from me. Afterwards, I was angry, because I had done nothing “wrong” to get the disease. But it made me learn that just because you do everything “right” doesn’t mean everything always goes to plan. It’s helped me release a lot of unspoken pressure I had on myself to do everything perfectly.
3. Remember to take time for yourself
   • I feel like this is one point I have learned and re-learned over and over again the past few months. This year has served as a reminder that taking time for oneself can mean socializing, taking on hobbies, or spending healthy time alone to either reflect or recharge. It all depends on what you need in the moment. It takes time to learn how to recognize what you need, but it is valuable in life.
4. Don’t be afraid to communicate your thoughts
   • In the past, I’ve always considered myself a direct communicator. But this year has shown me the value of speaking up when people are personally offensive. Sometimes, they do not realize that what they have said is harmful to an individual. Other times, they say it out of spite. Regardless, saying something, rather then glazing over a possible confrontation, is better for the psyche.
5. What feels like a step back can sometimes actually be a step forward
   • Life is not a linear path. Moving back home felt like the opposite of my goal in 2020, but it has been the best thing for me in terms of being a happier person. Along with this, giving up on goals does not automatically mean failure. Sometime a break from a challenge offers time to be refreshed and get a new perspective, leading to unexpected solutions. In my personal life there have been too many ironic moments where I have accepted that something is just not meant to happen and instead chose to have faith that things will fall into place when they are meant to, only for them to almost magically happen before my eyes. Releasing the pressure on yourself to always be moving in one direction gives freedom for things to fall into place that you never expected.

The paths of life are often unexpected, and can lead you in directions you never anticipated. But this is part of what makes life – the surprises and challenges of things not going to plan. I am hopeful for the future, blessed to be where I am, and faithful with God that things will fall into place.